So that whole “digging into my past” thing paid off in a real monkey’s-paw kind of way.
I stumbled across the epubs of a couple of Sid’s books. I didn’t know I still had these.
Trying to decide whether I’ve got the gumption to sit down and read them. I’ve still been chickening out on rewatching Until the End of the World just because of how much Claire is going to remind me of her, and I’ve got the collected works of Sid’s favorite author, Sheri S. Tepper, tucked away in my Kindle but so far untouched. But this is an entirely different beast. On the one hand, it’s going to be wonderful living in the worlds she created just for a little while, a pure distillation of her creativity and spirit. But it’s also going to be a stark reminder of what I’ve lost, and the self-recrimination for my letting us drift apart is going to be a bitter as hell pill to swallow.
The one good thing about everyone you love being gone: you can’t let them down anymore.
(Okay, shit, that was a little too maudlin, even for me. The light inside me is dim, even by Eastern European standards.)
I’m okay, I promise. Just swinging low. Tomorrow will be something funny.